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Guerrilla Attacks - Explosion Damages - Mandela rejects Pik Botha’s offer of conditional release - Limpid mines - grenade attacks- twenty-fifth commemoration of the Sharpeville - protesting for the release of Mandela -a leading anti-apartheid newspaper, The Rand Daily Mail ceases publication - explosion rocks - bomb damages - petrol bombs - insurgents raid - Suicide Squad - ROADBLOCK - shootout - Trevor Manuel detained Bill Mentoor necklaced - Ronald Reagan - Israel withdraws from Lebanon- Aids - Mikhail Gorbachev - South Africa ends ban on inter-racial marriages - Famine in Ethiopia.
And all I could think about was bloody Mark de Klerk.
The sounds on my Sony Walkman (my most treasured possession) Smooth Operator - Relax - Careless Whisper -Take On Me, You Spin Me and of course Madonna– drowning out the screams of the world around me.
I actually looked forward to watching Dallas (Yes, I was totally committed to get to the bottom of who shot JR) The Facts of Life, Moonlighting, Dr Belvedere, the Gummy Bears, The Golden Girls, Growing Pains, MacGyver, The Thundercats, Magnum PI.
Don’t you sometimes miss your 15 year old self ?The days when things grossed you out or where seriously up the pole. The delight at the A-Ha video, which was, by far, together with the BETAMAX, the pinnacle of modern technology.
I coveted a sodastream, for godsake. How delightful.
My 15 year old self.
I miss her sometimes.
I wish I could tell her that she wasn't fat.
She was going to be OK.
That she should not spend so much time worrying about boys, because she was gay anyway.
That she shouldn't try so hard with the girls that didn't want to be her friend - because actually - they were genuinely not worth it. That the only reason she never connected with them, was because they are truly from a different planet to her.
That she must stop letting her nose bug her so much, that I would sort it out as soon as possible - and that while she felt ugly and fat - she would be asked to model for magazines when she grew up.
She wouldn't have believed me - she would have thought that I didn't understand her.
That the boy standing on her right - would be her friend for life. And she would still be hanging out with him when they were 40 years old.
If she were to know this , I wonder if it would have made any difference to her ?
I can so relate! I shudder to think what would have become of my life if I believed the worlds bullshit at 15! The answer to your question, would she have believed you, is simply NO! It is easier to believe the bad then the good, irrelavant of age. But through the heartaches and the self doubt we turned into fine people with good moral standing. With the bullshit rife in todays society how many adolences will be able to say the same?
ReplyDeleteMe too, relate completely! And three cheers to Barbara. I look at the picture that clearly inspired this piece and I only see the prettiest little girl with the brightest shirt. No matter how insecure she may have felt at that stage, she knew that she wasn't or ever would be a wall flower! xx
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