Stardate 2010.4.16. After nearly 40 years, I have concluded my first assignment as master of this vessel, cataloging insanity in the area they call earth. We are heading home under full impulse power. I am pleased to report that ship and crew have functioned well." The future. The final frontier. Endless. Silent. Waiting.These are the continuing voyages of the Jugular Transcription Vamp. Her ongoing mission: to explore reality, to seek out understanding , to boldly go where no man has gone before....

"I took a shuttle on a shockwave ride
where people on the pen pull the trigger for accolades
I took a bullet and I looked inside it
Running through my veins an American masquerade
Why do you waste my time?
Is the answer to the question on your mind
And I'm sick of all my judges...so scared of what they'll find....but I don't really mind that it's starting to get to me..."

The Killers - Sam's Town

Regardless of having stellar job performance - if you ever express your frustration at mismanagement - and cry out :
Where is the outrage ?
Where is the staff outcry ?
Well - you are all of a sudden become expendible.
The shockingly flawed management system, the horrific acts it encourages, the fact that everything is a secret - and the company is administed by fear and victimisation - all demand outrage.
But honesty and openess do not pay - you simply become fodder to political agendas.
Shock disclosures about the way a company is administered should not be ignored....tempation to move on should be resisted.
There needs to be a pause to reflect.
Be honest.
Condemn transgressions.
Reject corruption.
And make it better.
The world better.
The ill treatment as a response - contains a chilling message - don't stand up for your principles or speak out for your beliefs.


I refuse to be quiet.


CAPTAINS LOG ENTRY. Captain's Log, Stardate 2010.4.18 I've never trusted the pretentious...and I never will. I can never forgive them for the death of of soul.

"I love myluxury more than my priciples"

Tiger Woods apparantly made his come back this week


He just keeps on coming, doesn't he?

Well the thing that fascinates me about this saga, is not the Tiger,but his wife Elin.

She displays one of the characteristics I abhor most in life - she likes money more than values.

I have been so disapointed by folks like this.

Stay out of my world, you cowards.


Your money really will make you warm inside, Elin. No really.

Humans can be such chops. I prefer dogs.


"That's great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, an aeroplane,
Lenny Bruce is not afraid
Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn - world
Serves its own needs, dont misserve your own needs.
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine."

REM - The end of the world as we know it.

Ok, I am also aware that all the headlines show these days are the sexual antics of right wing lunatics or the ego of the young and resentful with too much power. (We got enough of all that shit with the Bold and the Beautiful back in 1987)

I mean how fucking fantastic ?

In the wake of 2010 World Cup – our newspapers headline this.

The Dailies, the Weeklies. The Tabloids.

Hurrah !

Let's impale, I mean enthrall our audience with regaling tales of how many times TB begged for it up the rear by the people that he so loathed.

Or, no, wait. wait, How about this fresh idea?:

How our local egotistical village idiot Malema swanks wealth(which he got from where ?) around town, committing idolatry at the syphlis wounds on Robert Mugabes feet.


Why is no one jumping up and down and hyperventilating over the goddamned REAL news ?

Not that I want to alarm anybody - but why the fuck do people fail to understand the screaming significance - the Indian ocean tsunami disaster claimed 280,000 lives !!!!!

This is all the rage right now, you know ?

Tsunamis in Indonesia, Sri Lanka, Thailand and India this last year too.

Hurricane Katrina.

Haiti devastated by earthquakes.

Indonesia & China earthquake kills hundreds to thousands.

And we have just got started here.

I look around.

Everyone is already sweeping the evidence under the Islandic Volcanic Ashes.


As if that is not a massive enough hint.

But, climate change and global warming doesn't end there.

Climate change will impact agriculture and food production around the world.

The health of millions of people will be affected through, for example, malnutrition, increased deaths, diseases and injury due to extreme weather events; increased diarrhoeal disease.

This is where afrikaans can never be substituted - "Dan gaan ons kak."

So, obviously the real news doesn’t sell. People are far to interested in arse – who acted like an arse, who is an arse and oh, let's not forget more recently, who likes to take it up the arse.

I know that was fun, but I am just getting warmed up.


End of time.

End of the world.

The apocalypse.

Yip, I recon the Mayans win the bet.

The conditions the bet invokes indicates the end of the present order and the ascension of life.

One learns only through its opposite, because it is its purpose. One succeeds through the failures and fails through the successes. One prevails by surrendering and surrenders by prevailing. One cannot exist separately from its opposite. One cannot exist without a purpose; hence one cannot exist separately from an environment, which demonstrates the fractal causality of all cycles : the causal thread connecting all cycles as one.

Just as the gold is found under many layers of dirt, even the truth will be found safely stored under many layers of deceit.

But hey, it is a free world.

An unavoidable gravitational change of the earth's environment will cause a quantum leap.

An opportunity.

No more, no less.

Everyone is invited - but not many will come.

It is my responsibility to bring my mind into my heart and my heart into my mind.

It is imperative that the mind knows what the heart feels and that the heart feels what the mind knows.

The truth is whole (quantum).

It either is or is not.

The partial truth doesn't cover the fare. The only thing that matters is action. It is the action that speaks about who we are. It is also action that reveals the degree of coherence between heart and mind.

So, this is what the Mayans put their money on, while we put our money in the lotto.


I cannot remember when last I called the police.

My house was broken into twice in the last ten years – and I can honestly tell you that the thought to call the police did not even cross my mind.

They can’t organise a piss up in a brewery.

And, if I am totally honest – I am afraid of them and they are the last people I want to see when I am vulnerable and afraid.

The police are no more than an insurance intermediary service, with connections to the mob. You need to see them to get a case number so that the claim for your stolen goods can be processed.

My relationship with the rest of the municipal government is exactly the same. After being embroiled in a heated disagreement with City Power – which spanned over two years of my precious life, I don’t even pick up the phone to them anymore.

They charged me R14, 789-00 for one month’s electricity!! They then sent one of their staff to switch off my electricity. On the day before Christmas.

The long and short of it is that their investigation uncovered that I was being heinously over-charged for water – with fraudulent water meter readings on their file. In the end – they owed me money. Which I used for the psychiatric expenses that they caused me.

I have not once had a municipal service groom the garden outside my property, which, by law, belongs to them.

Pickitup has not only refused to collect my garbage for the last two weeks – causing spontaneous science experiments in my trash bins – but they have also taken it upon themselves to strew the garbage all over our city as an act of defiance. The very city whose pavement hawkers are selling T-shirts with slogans saying : “Don’t kill me – I am not a boer – I am a tourist.”

So imagine my delight when it came to my attention that the Municipal Government is introducing by-laws regulating the ownership of dogs. I really think they have bitten off more than they can chew -they can’t even manage the jobs they fucking have.
· No person may keep more than two dogs on any premises

· You may not keep a dog which barks, whimpers or howls for more than 6 minutes per hour.

· You may not keep an unsterilised female dog.

· No dog may be permitted in a public place unless on a leash. If you want to give your dog a run in a park you are going to have to run with it because you won’t be allowed to take off its leash.

This is not only going to give whippet owners a run for their money, I assure you. If you did let it off the leash, be warned, in terms of the proposed by-law, the pet would be impounded, put to death or sold within 96 hours unless you could cough up the cash to cover the trangression fine.

Humans cause much more of a nuisance and disturbance than most of the animals I know.

With the huge move towards living in town and cluster houses you better hope that your neighbour has no issues with you. The next time he is out, slaughtering a little celebratory goat on his stoep – and your cat is sitting on his wall; he may maliciously (and legally) send it off to the pound.

Legally regulating what I can and cannot do in my own house, and what kind of family I am allowed or not allowed to have really is fucking ridiculous.

The next thing I expect to read in the Sunday newspapers is the promulgation of a by-law outlining what I can wear to bed.

The relevance here is obvious, of course.

In the event that some financially disadvantaged person decides to drop in one night - the onus of responsibility lies on me to not provoke any further crime by wearing suggestive sleepwear, or, God forbid, no sleepwear at all.

Not wearing a thermal eskimo suit to bed will result in solicitation charges and a hefty fine for the possible incitement of further criminal behaviour. And since I am gay - I might also incur the death penalty on this infraction - if Malema had his way.

My dogs are my kids.

And my security for that matter.

So leave us to try and live as happily as possible, not because of you, but despite you ?

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