Monday, May 24, 2010

Daddy's got a gun.

Daddy's got a gun Daddy's got a gun 
Her whole world's come undone.
What did her daddy do? 
He jacked the little bitty baby 
The man has got to be insane.
What did Daddy put us through


It was late Saturday afternoon.
Daddy had gone out to the pub - and when he came home, he beat mommy so badly that she has decided to leave us.

“I refuse to take this anymore", she said, more to herself than anyone else.
She crawled to the master bedroom – wailing like a wounded animal.
She managed to grasp a suitcase and start throwing her clothes inside.
I watched.
I listened.
He saw her start packing and his attitude became immediately changed - almost desperate.
He stumbled down the passage – once or twice correcting his near fall by balancing against the walls.
He poured himself another drink.
 I crept into my mom's room.
 She was sobbing uncontrollably.
 “Did you say we are leaving, mommy, ?" I asked
" I am leaving, Kathy."
" Aren't you taking us with you ?"
 "I promise I’ll come get you."
" No, mommy – you can't leave us alone with him."
" I’ll come back…I need to think straight."
 My 12 year old mind went ballistic.
 She can't leave us here….my mind screamed.
My dad had staggered his way back.
 He stood in the doorway.
 “Please don’t go, I am sorry.”he said in a hollow, broken voice.
“Fuck you,” she spat at him and took a long draw on her cigarette.
 "Please don’t go mommy….please," I begged – cornered by an instictive self preservation.
 "Go to your room Katherine."
 I left.
 I went to my sisters room – and we strained anxiously to hear what was happening between our parents.
 Lots of shouting.
 Eventually everything was quiet.
 That’s the time that I get most frightened.
 Daddy wants us to go into the lounge for a family meeting.
 Bobby, me and mommy sit on the couch huddled together - prepared for a soliloquy on his guilt and need for our forgiveness.
 Daddy told us to hang on – he was going to quickly get something.
He came back.
With grandpa's gun.
 I closed my eyes tightly.
 A shot rang.
I heard screams – but as though they were from a great distance.
My eyes were glued shut…and I had to open them.
 I had wet my panties.
 Eventually life kicked in again – I opened my eyes and spun around protectively.
Mommy and Bobby were both alive.
 There was a hole in the roof.
 Concrete dust showered down.
 I coughed.
Mommy went to go and get the vacuum cleaner.
 I went to change my panties.
Miffy disappeared for days.
Kathy disappeared for ever.

Daddy said if mommy ever left he would kill us all.

We missed Magnum PI that night.


  1. My Dear Friend, I know it is hard to be so honest and show SOME of the emosion. I love you, always!

  2. Thank you for writing this and allowing me the opportunity to be in that space with you while reading this piece. Some stuff just shakes the core of me and this is definately one of those...I cannot have an opinion about what you wrote - I just feel it....